My Worst Loss

My mother was surrounded by loved ones when she took her last breath, but I wasn’t one of them.

Losing a mother is a pain that cannot be described in words. It is impossible to move on from the memory of losing the woman who sacrificed happiness in her own life so that you could have a better one. A mother’s love is truly irreplaceable. My mother passed away 2 years ago but I still feel like she’s waiting for me in my hometown. I’ve been working for almost 15 years in Malaysia and couldn’t spend time with her.

She’s the reason I decided to work in Malaysia 15 years ago. I was young and couldn’t find a proper job in my hometown. Our hometown is not located in the big city so job opportunities are very limited. I couldn’t earn more money for my mother’s medication if I continued to work in my hometown so here I am, working in Kuala Lumpur.

My mother was surrounded by loved ones when she took her last breath, but I wasn’t one of them. Even though I was, and still am, “okay” with this, it’s something that still gives me a twinge, not of regret necessarily, but more of envy. I envy the members of my family who were there to witness this moment.”

Patinah, 45 years old, Madura